GIRL COMET MAY 2013 - SEPT 2021
Girl Comet was born in Dalea's heart in 2013, through her personal experiences growing up in a difficult environment and being born with health complications due to androgen insensitivity.
Why Do Differences Of Sex Development Occur?
No one knows why DSDs in babies occur (DSD = Differences of sex development), in her specific case, in the past there had been an inclination to think it was influenced by the medication Dyethilstilbestrol, which her mother took due to previous miscarriages. This drug was discontinued once it was linked to health harming side effects in babies and mothers. Unfortunately once exposure happened, it stays in the body. Dalea's mom passed away from cancer of the stomach, some doctors link it to her intake of the medication.
Girl Comet and Dalea are not MD's or Geneticists, if you want to learn more about this topic, it's mechanisms or which gene mutation(s) are involved in the many DSDs Variations that exist, consult a Specialist. Dalea once quoted a doctor’s explanation for her condition without confirming, and it turned out to be the wrong gene. Never assume a doctor without a specialty has fail proof knowledge in this area, unless they claim to posses medical specialty.
In 2018, Dalea's 74 year old aunt revealed to her that she was also born with a DSD. Why wait so long to confide in her? Why not share this information when Dalea was a teen going through her own tribulations? Shame. Dalea also knows families with siblings or extended family members born with various forms of DSDs, so it is logical to deduce that it is something that can run in families.
Aspiring to be of service as moral support to parents and those born DSD's while also keeping some private things private to the general public was not easy. In the beginning, before Girl Comet, being young and naive she begun speaking about it all openly. She even attempted to self publish a book, one that she took out of the market as it came out because it was not done right, and after editors bents and marketing edits, it turned it and her in to a circus meant to generate book sales, rather than to reflect her life; she felt it was garbage, so to the garbage it went.
Over time and various negative experiences with morbid minds, Dalea began to grow up, and shifted to focus on uplifting people rather than on detailing specifics about her body or questions of meds suspected to be part in her case. She also stopped sharing harsh portions of her childhood, including her mother's mental health, which was a critical part in her struggles. There was (and still is) much undigested pain and shame. Furthermore, in Latin cultures, offspring do not speak publicly of their parents in a negative light, no matter how deeply they may have made mistakes.
What can be respectfully said, is that her mother suffered from a mental illness that was triggered by stress, the stress of having a child alone, and her daughter being born with a DSD was too much. Archaic, provincial medical advise did not help, it further triggered her mom's emotions and pride. It all led to neglect and abandonment of her child, including deciding what gender she must make Leah exist as. There were challenging periods of Dalea's childhood when she was forced to live as the opposite sex, when Dalea had the misfortune to be under her mom's care or entrusted to the care of others who had no say or power in the matter.
Dalea is grateful to her grandmother, as she was able to go back to normal when taken back in to her arms and housing. Her grandmother was of humble beginnings and lacked resources, but she loved Dalea deeply. It was her grandmother who taught her to have Faith, to believe in God and in the energy in everything.
It is easy for some to judge and even hate those who are different, but not so easy to place yourself in their shoes. The psychological shock waves of living through and surviving all this can't be quantified. Yet, not understanding is no excuse for cruelty, hate or mistreatment. Unfortunately, this is what happens much too often, this is what she and others like her have to learn to raise above.
Dalea lived at four different family members homes growing up, interchangeably. Health challenges, a non present dad, the lack of a steady home and protection of a mother would be more than enough of a hurricane for any child or teen to crumble, she almost ended her own life at 14. Being born with a DSD, living in ignorance and without dignity, it is unsurprising that Dalea had no self esteem growing up. She endured in silence her childhood misfortunes. One example can paint a picture, having a mother who was a nurse, there is no excuse -other than neglect- for Dalea to have contracted Rheumatic Fever, simply due to not having a permanent guardian and supervision to notice she had been coughing, feverish, and weak for more than a year. She nearly lost her life at 12 years of age, when it could have been easily prevented with penicillin. Once she was finally taken to the hospital, it was only because she was delirious with fever and her grandmother could not control it with her home remedy of wet towels and tea bags on her hears. She spent weeks in convalescence with daily Penicillin injections and managed to survive, but to this day, an eye must be kept on her heart health as scarring is one of the results of surviving Rheumatic Fever.
There is PTSD and sorrow which Dalea chooses not to spend time dwelling upon, never mind go out and actively re-live her full lived experiences again and again by sharing them with all. Her struggles are no one's business but Dalea and her family's.
One thing is bewildering, why does it seem to mostly be those who have been deeply hurt and broken, the ones who display compassion and empathy for those hurting? The ones who feel the need to help others heal?.
Dalea learned from her experiences before Girl Comet that even though she is now healthy, detailing her in utero and congenital DSD complications would always turn her in to a show or a fetish. She had experienced how her entire existence begun to be reduced to that alone, she did not want her new work with Girl Comet to be that, she wanted to use her efforts to help uplift minds and do her part in persuading youth born with DSD's from having thoughts of self harm when faced with diagnosis or hardship. She shared her medical journey and childhood -privately- with most parents and those with DSD's that she was giving moral support over the years, as reference.
Being a Latina minority, there are enough difficult mountains to climb already, no need to also make the depth of her despair and struggles a centerpiece of her life. So she streamlined her message.
Girl Comet was a way to be first shoulder to someone, it was dedicated to uplift, it was never intended for the entertainment of people without any connection to DSD's. It was not intended to be included in gender discussions, or to be a morbid pass time for idle minds. GC was meant as a ray of light and faith served in a non-judgmental environment. This is why she was never a YouTuber with Girl Comet (YouTuber = Someone who profits or monetizes from their channel ) and also why she never charged anything for lending phone moral support to families or those in distress in the too many hours to count calls that she did throughout the years; although she herself did have to pay emotionally after each phone call. Indeed, people who monetize or exploit the pain of others, are evil.
After 8 years, in September 2021 it was announced that Dalea was retiring Girl Comet and closing it's doors.
She wants to focus on her personal life, family, career and to continue healing her life. It is in her nature to want to be of service, for her life to count beyond herself, so she launched a YouTube Series titled 'The Treasury of Life', which consists of writings and fables meant to inspire and invite reflection. She suggests donations to either one of two charities: C.A.S.A. LA, for Children in the dependency system or DSDFamilies.Org, a support organization for children, teens and families affected by DSDs. The Treasury of Life premiered February 2022.
Dalea believes that purpose in life is the antidote to sadness, bitterness and anger.
Final Message From Dalea:
If you have a child with a DSD, please do not think that you are guilty, somehow, for your child's health challenges. Or worse, think that God is punishing you for something you may have done -as many parents believe, in some underdeveloped communities and countries-. Seeking fault yields nothing positive or good for you or your beautiful baby.
We are all children of God and deserve love and dignity. We all deserve equal opportunity for success and the glory of attaining noble goals pursued with our own efforts. We all deserve equal rights to walk this earth and to create happiness.
No one is above another simply by virtue of the way they were born or their ability to procreate. Just as there should not be levels of superiority implied simply by virtue of which shade of skin color we were born with or whom anyone loves... no one is superior to another based on the details of their birth, ethnicity or anything unrelated to character.
If your child was born with a variation of sex development (or anything out of the ordinary), please focus on loving and helping your baby optimize their health, not on 'Fixing' them by forcing them to fit a mold or placing them in roles that they may not be suited or born for.
Trust that with your love and protection, your baby will grow up with healthy self esteem which is critical to find the right path for them. Confidence, love, joy and fulfillment in life can only be attained if one believes that one deserve it. As the wise Frederick Douglass said: "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men."
If you were born different than average, the only thing that would be wrong would be for you to believe that you are broken and that you do not deserve the same dignity, love and success that others do... because you absolutely deserve it all.
Believe in yourself, I believe in you.
If you need help, visit our friends at the not for profit DSD Families Org: https://dsdfamilies.org they have a terrific, fair and balanced team, ready to support and guide you.
There are also various other entities around the world that support those born with DSD's or as it is also known 'Intersex.'
A simple internet search will yield many results. Explore whichever entity's philosophy makes you feel most comfortable.
GRAPSIA, Asociación Española de Apoyo a favor de las personas afectadas por Variaciones De Desarroyo Sexual.
+34 653 57 78 17
+34 960 08 88 12
GRAPSIA Pagina Web: https://grapsia.org/que-es-grapsia/
If you are having an emotional crisis and are having difficulties coping, please know there is love in this world and people who care, emotional support is available to you for free!
A Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week across the United States.
In English: 1 (800) 273-8255
En Español: 1 (888) 628-9454
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Website: Lifeline Network
The Trevor Project is the world’s largest crisis intervention and suicide prevention organization for LGBTQ+ young people.
They are available to you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You are not alone, reach out!
Link to speak on the phone, text or chat: CONTACT TREVOR PROJECT
Trevor Project Website: Trevor Project
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